Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

by: Becky Kennedy (0)


An Instant Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Indie Bestseller

“This book is for any parent who has ever struggled under the substantial weight of caregiving—which is to say, all of us. Good Inside is not only a wise and practical guide to raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids, it’s also a supportive resource for overwhelmed parents who need more compassion and less stress. Dr. Becky is the smart, thoughtful, in-the-trenches parenting expert we’ve been waiting for!”—Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space

Dr. Becky Kennedy, wildly popular parenting expert and creator of @drbeckyatgoodinside, shares her groundbreaking approach to raising kids and offers practical strategies for parenting in a way that feels good.

Over the past several years, Dr. Becky Kennedy—known to her followers as “Dr. Becky”—has been sparking a parenting revolution. Millions of parents, tired of following advice that either doesn’t work or simply doesn’t feel good, have embraced Dr. Becky’s empowering and effective approach, a model that prioritizes connecting with our kids over correcting them.

Parents have long been sold a model of childrearing that simply doesn’t work. From reward charts to time outs, many popular parenting approaches are based on shaping behavior, not raising humans. These techniques don’t build the skills kids need for life, or account for their complex emotional needs. Add to that parents’ complicated relationships with their own upbringings, and it’s easy to see why so many caretakers feel lost, burned out, and worried they’re failing their kids. In Good Inside, Dr. Becky shares her parenting philosophy, complete with actionable strategies, that will help parents move from uncertainty and self-blame to confidence and sturdy leadership.

Offering perspective-shifting parenting principles and troubleshooting for specific scenarios—including sibling rivalry, separation anxiety, tantrums, and more—Good Inside is a comprehensive resource for a generation of parents looking for a new way to raise their kids while still setting them up for a lifetime of self-regulation, confidence, and resilience.

The Reviews

Good Inside and Dr. Becky are everything the world needs now. A strong, sturdy perspective that truly, wholeheartedly believes in the good inside us all. That is truly not cheap talk. It. is. the. real. deal. This book is a parenting book that covers big picture philosophical understandings of parenthood AND the more practical, day-to-day implementation of said philosophies. Dr. Becky is incredible about explaining the underlying reasons for why kids do what they do and why WE respond as we do and then she talks us through exactly how to apply the "most generous interpretation" so that we can do better for the next generation AND for ourselves. Good Inside is also a REparenting book and a leadership book. She will teach you how to show up for the realness of your own life for yourself and for the kids that you love most dearly. Truly, there is not a better way to spend your money. Maybe go ahead and stock up on highlighters and your favorite pens too because, if you're like me, you will be highlighting and underlining left and right. It's truly that game-changing. Get ready to finally understand your job description as a parent and your kids' job descriptions as wonderful, little growing humans in the world. And if you yourself need healing from your own childhood, this will open the door for that too. I know that you, dear Amazon review reader, do not know me but I am not really prone to hyperbole. I do not feel it is an exaggeration to say that Dr. Becky and Good Inside is game-changing. This purchase is truly an investment in yourself and the kind of parent and person you want to be and an investment in your kids and their future.

When my first child was born 9 years ago, I read most of the "best selling" parenting books about infancy and the first year of life. Good Inside is the first and only book that I've read about raising children in their formative early years. It is a manual for early childhood & a guide for tackling the toughest moments- the ones that keep us up at night questioning if we are doing enough, if we are doing it right.Dr. Becky reframes parenting in the context of family jobs- a parents job and a child's job. This simple & relatable framework has massively shifted my entire perspective as a mother. My job as a parent is not to solve my children's struggles, but to wire my children for resilience, to help them tolerate their struggles, sit with their insecurity and access their own confidence & sturdiness. This framework of knowing my job (and knowing what to say thanks to Dr. Becky's helpful scripts) has given me the ability to model confidence and sturdiness for my children when they need it most. And, I am pretty sure its helping me sleep better at night when those pesky parenting worries often crop up trying to hijack my rest.This book is the closest thing to Cliffs Notes for Parenting that I have found...I have a feeling that every parent who reads it will find his/her own aha moment- something that truly shifts their perspective and brings clarity to confusion.

In a world of information overload, coupled with the pressure to be the "perfect" parent, sifting through the posts, the voices, the images can feel overwhelming and impossible. Dr. Becky has already created a revolution around parenting (and reparenting ourselves) from a framework of connection and seeing the intrinsic good inside our children. Now we can tangibly hold it in our hands!In the midst of all the parenting noise that exists, the message and principles of Good Inside feels like stepping into a quiet room and finally resonating with the strategies and approach you've been looking for. Dr. Becky is first a mom, and you feel that in the relatability of this book. This book serves as the hardcover guide we've needed to help us navigate tricky situations while maintaining the most generous interpretation of our children. You start the book thinking you'll learn more about how to parent your kids, but you'll quickly discover you are reparenting yourself in the process. The end result leaves you feeling more confident, more connected, and more challenged to be a cycle breaker in how we relate to and raise these awesome kids we've been given.

This book is chocked full of warm, practical sturdy advice. There are chapters that are short concise and clear. Easy to reference if you want to find something specific to your need. Dr Becky gives you words when you can’t find your own. There are real life scenarios that are common among most parents but the strategies are universal and apply to so many other parts of your life other than parenting. She is honest (none of this book will make parenting easier right away) and challenges conventional parenting (often founded in behaviorism) arguing that even proven discipline methods should be met with skepticism. After all we don’t want to raise compliant people. We want to raise human beings. Her reframes have completely changed my parenting approach. It feels correct and truly good inside. This book will be referred to as my parenting “bible” from now on- amen. 10/10 recommend

Whether you’re a parent, a teacher, someone who works with kids - I can’t say enough good things about this book and how it’s impacted my parenting, and my life. It really is as good as everyone is saying.An awesome thing I wasn’t expecting: the second half of the book is all about practical strategies for specific challenging or overwhelming behaviors kids go through, and it’s SO concise! In my experience, non-fiction writers struggle with keeping the message simple and straight to the point, and try to be as verbose as possible, but Dr. Becky seems to realize we don’t want that nor do we have the time for that. She gets to the point right away, so I can get through those practical chapters in just 5-10 minutes.I LOVE this book. I will be recommending it to all my parent and teacher friends.

Love these mirrors for our new bathroom. Good price and good quality.

We finally threw out our cheap bathroom mirror and replaced it with this one. I was worried this mirror would have a distorted fun house look when viewed at certain angles, but the mirror looks perfect. It's decently heavy, a good size, and seems to be good quality. Probably about the best you can get for the price! It was packaged well to avoid any damage during shipping and came with all the necessary hardware to hang. Would recommend!

I loved the look of this mirror, it was exactly the style and size (and price) I was looking for. I still love the mirror, despite its untimely demise.When it first arrived, I immediately noticed how heavy it was, and was not too sure about that single middle hook. Since I was not installing it on a stud, I opted to use a drywall anchor designed to hold a max weight of 100 lbs.For whatever reason, I had a hard time getting the mirror hung, but once I did, it seemed solid and safe…Until today. A loud crash alerted me, and I came downstairs to find the mirror laying on the floor, completely smashed. Upon further inspection, the drywall anchor had completely ripped out the wall.I honestly think, despite what’s claimed, that the weight of this mirror needs to be dispersed across two hangers instead of the single one in the middle. I was nervous from the start feeling how hefty it was, and my fears were confirmed.I’m not faulting the seller, the mirror, or even my install technique. But I would ask the designers to consider if perhaps the weight of this mirror needs to be dispersed more evenly. Just a thought.

I’ve been wanting an arched mirror forever and this one was the perfect size. Adds a nice modern touch. I love it!

I've never before left an Amazon review, but there was no possible barrier that could keep me from this one one. I came to Dr. Becky because as a clinician, I was so dissatisfied with the interventions we have to offer to children with challenging behavior. I joined the on-line community and realized the goldmine of information, interventions, workshops, scripts were just the little cherries on top of the revolution in raising humans - it also provided a different way to be a human. Then Dr. Becky wrote a book summarizing her 10 main tenants that undergird the very interventions that I found so paradigm shifting! This book is EVERYTHING. It's far more than parenting advice, far more than answering the question of "how do I deal with this challenging behavior- or sleep-or potty training-or back to school, etc.". Once you take the time to consider ideas like "two things are true" and "knowing your job" and "reducing shame" you'll realize how much your entire worldview can change to the benefit of every member of your family and your community. I am so proud to see this work take off and if you're a parent, it's a no-brainer, buy it. But also... if you're a human, it's really a no brainer- buy it!! Be prepared for your whole worldview to shift!

I have a masters in counseling with a focus on child development. I have read ALL the things. And Dr. Becky’s book is my heart’s song finally in print. She shows how we can parent in a way drastically different from generations past, caring about our kids’ feelings and also improving their behavior. She explains—in the most humble way—how to get away from the punishment/consequence paradigm and move towards connection, while being a sturdy leader with boundaries. She takes big concepts and theories and makes them relatable. And, most of all, she TRULY cares about each parent and each kid. It’s the WHY for all her hard work, and it’s what sets this apart from everything else I’ve read (along with her brilliance, evident study in all the relevant material, and incredible ability to story tell.) She is honestly one of the greatest treasures of our generation and I’m eternally grateful to have her as a mentor and friend (if you join her platform/community, she interacts with you personally and she really does become a friend.) Not enough words to give this book the praise it deserves. It will be something I reference and come back to for years to come. Not only is it helping my kids and in my parenting, it is helping me on my own healing journey.

This book is the best parenting book to date. I’m a mom of 2 and a child therapist and I’ve been following Dr. Becky online for a few years now. I was counting down the days till her book came out and it was everything I was hoping for and more. It is a book that teaches you boundary setting with your kids while still maintaining a loving connection (without fear!). She leans into concepts that help you better understand why children are exhibiting certain behaviors and allows you to parent accordingly. It’s important to note this book doesn’t teach push over parenting; you are setting boundaries but it’s done from a point of understanding the child’s needs, seeing below the “bad” behaviors and connecting to the actual emotions underneath. Her view on time ins & containing a tantrum was a game changer for my oldest; he now can regulate his body through breathing and taking space without me. Her process of potty training and listening to your body had my toddler trained in literally a weekend. Her concepts are one of a kind, promote empowerment in parents and their kids, and touches upon almost every single parenting struggle you may have. Can’t recommend these concepts and this bookmore highly.

This book has literally changed our family. We have gone from trying to control our kids to listening, validating and having boundaries. We have several neurodivergent kids whose emotions sometimes feel out of control. We have pushed them away, not knowing how to deal with them. This book has helped save our attachment with them. It’s hard work. I’m not going to lie. It’s hard to break the patterns of the way we have parented and the way WE were parented (most of us not this way, I’m sure). But it is incredible work that can literally change lives and make our kids become emotionally healthy adults. If you want your kids emotions to STOP, this book is not for you. You will learn that the goal is not to have their tantrums and hard feelings stop, but the goal is to help them see that we ALL have feelings that are hard and kids need help to get through these big scary feelings. Buy the book, do the hard work, change your family’s whole trajectory.

If you're like me and you've spent your precious free time wondering how to handle a meltdown or how to respond to a very specific situation or how to raise a resilient child, then reading Dr. Becky's book is an absolute must. Her strategies are thoughtful, tried and tested, and based on psychological research. The best part is that these methods can generalize to multiple tough situations. Once you learn the foundations, you'll probably find yourself thinking "two things are true" or taking a moment to recall a strategy during a difficult moment. Another great part? You can tell yourself that Dr. Becky has been through these struggles, she's not perfect and will happily discuss it, and that you're a good parent (good inside) regardless of how well you handle any given meltdown or moment of non-compliance. Her non-judgment of anyone is genuine and she really wants you to feel empowered to parent in the ways that are aligned with your goals. To me, this book is a must read.

I have read a lot of parenting books, and nothing has resonated with my heart and soul quite like this one has. It just makes sense. It’s easy to understand and follow, because it’s intuitive. Not only has it opened my eyes more on how to understand my child better, but it has opened my eyes more to my childhood and to understand myself better as well. I’ve noticed moments lately where I’ve felt more connected to my 7 year old. I’m handling the hard moments better and I’m seeing a change in both of us. It brings me to tears! My oldest is strong willed and has big emotions, and it always felt hard to deal with. Using the information and principles from this book have made such a difference. It feels easy, and everything has felt lighter. Dr Becky has changed my life and given me the confidence to parent my children in a way that feels good. I’m forever grateful for her knowledge. You won’t regret buying this book!

This is more than a parenting book. Dr. Becky provides so many tools and strategies to help ourselves so we can "become the parent [we] want to be."As Dr. Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and mother of 3, says, "reclaiming our internal goodness is the key to change within ourselves, after that, the key to intergenerational change with our kids. Once we feel good inside, we start to see the good inside our kids."Her non-judgmental approach helps me feel better as a parent. She validates the struggles of parenting while providing strategies, examples, scripts, and many great mantras to help you best to not "fix the issue" but to connect, set boundaries, acknowledge 2 truths, and understand your child and yourself better.She explains why and how the different approaches are beneficial for parents and children.This is such a beneficial book, even if you're not a parent.

I rarely take the time to write reviews, but absolutely have to share how much this book has already impacted me. I literally felt parts of myself heal as I listened (I love hearing her voice on the audiobook after watching many of her short videos on Instagram) - there is so much sadness, shame, and struggle that I felt throughout childhood and into adulthood, and Becky’s words make me feel seen and heard. So much so that I feel real healing and ability to face that hard stuff, manage it, and move forward. This in turn makes me feel so much more capable of helping my kids through their struggles! I’ve never read a parenting or self-help book that has made me feel so empowered and encouraged! Thank you so, so very much, Dr. Becky!!Aside from all that, I felt like the book was well-written and well-structured. The audiobook is fantastic, and I’ve also bought the hard copy so I can highlight and flip through it more easily. I intend to read this book over and over - it’s going to take hearing parts of it over and over for me to change my inner and outer dialogue and implement real change. I just finished the audiobook today, and plan to start reading the hard copy today!

I've read a lot of parenting books but this is the GOAT. So many books have unrealistic scenarios and unrealistic scripts. I would try to implement the ideas but they always were too simplistic and quickly fell flat. Dr Becky gets it and her scenarios cover all the bases. After spending a few months in play therapy for some serious sibling rivalry, I ordered the book and started implementing the ideas. I noticed a pretty immediate improvement and the dividends just keep paying. We don't yet have a perfectly peaceful house, but we definitely have kids who are feeling more connected and we all feel like we're on the road to better days. And I haven't even finished the book yet!

Summary: highly recommend. Not permissive parenting. The explanation of why humans (not just kids) behave the way they do and strategies to adjust our perspective and reactions so we can feel better ourselves and build stronger relationships with others. More effective and accessible information than other valuable parenting resources (e.g. No Drama Discipline, The Whole Brain Child, How To Talk to Your Kids so they will Listen..., Raising Good Humans, How to Stop Losing Your S*** with Your Kids). I appreciate and recommend those listed above but Good Inside resonates more with me.I first joined the Good Inside platform online and fell in love with Dr. Becky's instructional videos and workshops because of her relatable perspective and personality. Hearing the principles and strategies from this book with her energy, sense of humor, and candid conversational style have a far greater impact than reading them on a page. I am curious if the audiobook has a similar impact or if her viral video technique is unmatched. I have already practiced these techniques with my kids and seen results. Things like MGI (Most Generous Interpretation) have shifted my perspective unlike any other book or advice and has allowed me to feel different, more sturdy, and aware of my kids needs in challenging moments (instead of strictly frustrated and anxious to make their feelings go away as soon as possible).

Halfway through and I've already gained so much. This is a "do this one thing" or even a very logistical book on parenting. This is a mental shift in parenting and the concepts are extremely "sticky." I find myself thinking of them right when I need them. Great conversation material with my partner as well

As a mental health therapist and as a mom, I can’t recommend this book enough. She gives incredibly practical strategies for helping parents be the parents we want to be. But maybe an even bigger take away is she helps parents understand why we have been struggling to parent the way we want to, going back to our own upbringing. This book is a great resource to read and keep in your library to return to as kids grow and problems evolve and change. While many examples are geared towards younger kids, the principles here apply to teenage or adult kids, or even reparenting our own inner child. Do the world a favor and read this book!

I have read many--too many--parenting books over the last several years, but this one is hands down the BEST. It is thoughtful, well-researched, very easy to read and digest, and most importantly, offers very practical framing and strategies for a variety of different very specific and very relatable situations. If you only ever read one parenting book, this should be it.I would also highly recommend subscribing to her website, which contains TONS of workshops, scripts, articles, and allows you to connect with her coaches and other parents. It's a great supplement to this.

I am not someone who writes reviews…like ever. This is the first and only review I have ever written on Amazon. That is how strongly I feel that this book is the most powerful piece of thinking (not just about parenthood but about humanhood) that I have ever read. I am a new parent and a marriage and family therapist in training and this book has given me so much- it’s honestly hard to describe in words. Just please do yourself a favor and read this book, even if you aren’t a parent yet…you will definitely want to have a front row seat to Dr. Becky Kennedy changing the world.

I just started this book and I’m already blown away.Best. Parenting. Book. EVER.And this is coming from someone who has already invested a good deal in “Positive Parenting Solutions”, among other programs. I’ve learned a lot from PPS, but the style and language is so far from anything natural that I would ever actually say to my kids. I could never find a way to make it my own. I just couldn’t stick with it.I’ve since found other parenting coaches who are much more grounded and keep it real. But I’ve been finding that Dr. Becky really has the clearest insight and the simplest ways of describing what our kids are going through and how to help them, that I just had to try her book.Parenting does not come naturally to me. I grew up with a lot of trauma. Growing up in an alcoholic household leaves behind a lot of PTSD and triggers. My father had no coping skills. So he drank. And yelled. And he passed down his lack of coping skills to me. And while I may not drink, my first reaction to anything is to want to yell. And I don’t want my kids growing up the way I did. So I read a lot of parenting books and I try to find ways to regulate my emotions so that I don’t yell at my kids.But it’s hard. It’s all I’ve ever known.From all of my readings over the years on parenting, I still struggle with controlling my own emotions when my kids are having ‘big feelings’. It’s really been bothering me lately, because I know that if I cannot regulate mySELF, then I sure as hell am not teaching my kids how to do so. And worse, I’m showing them how to lose control when things get tough.Well….I just finished chapter 3 of “Good Inside” and I already feel like I have such a better picture as to what my kids are going through behind those tantrums. And more importantly, not only am I seeing more clearly what they’re going through, I’m fully understanding the depth of layers involved in my own reactions and how they’re truly shaping my kids. This book has stopped me in my tracks. Within the same day of parenting my kids and yelling at them in the morning, I reframed my interaction with them when they got home from school, after reading just a couple of chapters of “Good Inside”.My biggest takeaways so far:- “We all have our own jobs in the family and a child’s job is this- exploring and learning through experiencing and expressing emotions.”- “The goal is to teach our kids how to manage all of their feelings and perceptions and thoughts and urges; we are the primary vehicle for this teaching, not through lectures or logic, but through the experiences our children have with us.”- “Boundaries are not what we tell kids NOT to do. Boundaries are what we tell kids WE WILL do. Boundaries embody your authority as a parent and don’t require your child to do anything.”And the MOST impactful takeaway for me is in Dr. Becky’s discussion on what a boundary is NOT:“Here are examples of ‘not’ boundaries, but instead ways we essentially ask our kids to do our jobs for us.”"Please stop hitting your brother!""Stop running!”“Why do you have to make this so hard?"“In each of these examples, parents are asking their kids to inhibit an urge or desire that, frankly, they are developmentally incapable of inhibiting.”Mind blown. Nuff said.🤯❤️🤯❤️🤯❤️🤯❤️BUY. THIS. BOOK.

As the parent of a very... strong willed 4 year old, I've read every parenting book you can imagine that purports to help you get your children to listen, stop hitting/kicking/biting, etc. None of the things I read about ever really worked... until this book.To be fair it's still early times yet, so I don't have a long time working with the methods the author writes about here, but in just one day I can already tell SOMETHING is working. Not only does her parenting method feel right, it enabled me to help my daughter with what would normally be a 30 minute tantrum come through it in 5 minutes. I was in shock.To any parent struggling with any aspect of parenting, please read this book. You will not regret it. Also, it works for ANY age so don't think it's too late even if you have older kids.

Those book is the best way to help you raise your kids. It has great ideas and you will feel better about yourself. I've been listening to the podcast and this book is great for having those tips to refer back to instead of finding the podcast again. Every parent sounds read this book!

Like most people, I initially found Dr Becky on IG. Her message just makes sense. I’ve read so so many parenting books and Good Inside is just the best; this is what you should read. (I now realize my oldest is a deeply feeling kid, so all of that advice in other books was terrible). After taking Dr Becky’s advice, I’m happier and my kids are happier.

My daughter loved this book… helping her to cope with the reality of being a new parent, wondering if you’re doing the right thing, feeling overwhelmed, etc. Highly recommend.

I’m so happy a therapist friend of mine recommended this book. It’s grounded in attachment theory and IFS with excellent interventions. It’s very readable while still using good science and concrete take always. I love the focus on relationship with my child and have already started making changes in my parenting. I’m so thankful to Dr. Becky!

Everything in this book speaks to me as a parent and as a school psychologist. This will quickly become my go to recommendation for parents I work with and friends who come to me troubled about their kids. It feels like parenting therapy in a book!

So unbelievably helpful. Applied the guidance to my 11 year old and my 2 year old. Examples given throughout the book to really help you understand. You will not regret reading this.

Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
⭐ 4.8 💛 845
kindle: $4.99
paperback: $20.01
hardcover: $16.87
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