Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

by: Emily Nagoski (0)

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This book is a gift! I’ve been practicing their strategies, and it’s a total game-changer.”—Brené Brown, PhD, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Dare to Lead

This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life.

Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish?

Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against—and show us how to fight back. In these pages you’ll learn

• what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle—and return your body to a state of relaxation • how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration • how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it • why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout

With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in these pages—and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all.” Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are—and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach.


Burnout is the gold standard of self-help books, delivering cutting-edge science with energy, empathy, and wit. The authors know exactly what’s going on inside your frazzled brain and body, and exactly what you can do to fix it. . . . Truly life-changing.”—Sarah Knight, New York Times bestselling author of Calm the F*ck Down

The Reviews

This book is special and important. It's the kind of book you want to give to everyone you know because you know it will make their lives a better place. From understanding the importance of completing the stress cycle, to facing down "Human Giver Syndrome" to making friends with the madwoman we all have in our attic, the Nagoski sisters break down some serious research and make it easy to understand and apply. Please do yourself a favor and read this book immediately.

The themes described in this book are issues that frequently come up in my work as a therapist. I was blown away at the ease in which the authors explained difficult concepts regarding stress cycles, body image issues, the patriarchy, self-compassion and many others that took me years of graduate school to understand. I love their perspective regarding "Human Giver Syndrome" and other issues pertaining to women. This book was fun, easy to read, and is an absolute "must-have" in my collection. I have recommended it to numerous clients.

This book is everything. I've recommended it to every woman I've come across in my daily life that I think might benefit from reading it (translation: every woman I've come across in my daily life). I read it in under a week because it was really enjoyable and I made the time to do so (I was disappointed when it ended!!). I've reread it a second time and keep it on my desk as a constant reference and reminder of the topics addressed.The writing is approachable, fun, and relatable. They make the science-y bits easily digestible, the philosophy bits graspable, and the patriarchy (ugh) bits smashable. The topics covered are so universal for women in the 21st century that you really feel like they get it; it's so nice to have your suspicions about some of your interpersonal interactions and society as a whole validated.This was my first experience of "self-help" book, and I loved it so much that I have read everything else Emily Nagoski has written (Come as You Are is a game changer and her fiction under the pen name Emily Foster is really great). Can't recommend this book enough to anyone and everyone. It should be required reading for all women entering the workforce or any higher education; and honestly they should make it a requisite for girls to read before receiving their high school diploma or GED equivalency. Start 'em young so they can spot this stuff along the way and learn to deal with their stress before addressing their stressors!

Extreme feminist agenda. Not nearly enough practical help in coping with burnout, but rather a prolonged rant about the disadvantaged state of women. I am a woman, I am not disadvantaged. I am busy and was expecting a book that gave strategies for dealing with normal, everyday stress (which both men and women experience!) in a healthy way. Instead, a small part of the book discussed coping strategies, while most of the book was devoted to describing how unfair the cultural system is.

I loved the pop culture references, which added a depth and commonality of them. Pop culture is a product of its times, and our times are, as the euphemism goes, "interesting." The use of pop culture to help figure out our responses is a brilliant short cut. BURNOUT taught me so many helpful things, vivid metaphors that should stick in my mind for when the stress is high and my mind is casting about for a place to ground itself. Although many Star Trek references abound, so do others. So very Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra.

This is the most incredible book I have picked up in years. It is written in such an easy, familiar, casual approachable, understandable way, and yet I have cried at least four different times already feeling so recognized and understood. I want to buy it for every woman I know. Get yourself this book, give yourself a little time to sit down with it, and you will understand. I am freaking blown away.The authors really lay out how our feelings, our bodies, and our minds work together and how conditioned we are to shut ourselves down in ways that slowly exhaust us.... Just get yourself this book. It's incredible.

I learned a lot about myself and my stress, and finally an understandable way to manage it. This book is realistic and relatable and I know I'll read it multiple times.

First, the negative reviews on this book are exactly what the book talks about as far as patriarchy blindness, and patriarchy(ugh) in general. I am so glad I ignored them and read the book myself. And thank you to the Authors for educating and making things very clear. I look forward to challenging my past beliefs with this new knowledge going forward.After my girlfriend and I read it, I read through some of the reviews again and yep...they didn't get it, and missed the point entirely.This book is so full of golden nuggets, and absolutely tells you how to avoid and overcome burnout. It is full of scientific data, along with such a powerful personal touch that it holds your hand through the entire book, while teaching you how to unlearn a lot that we have been taught in life.I will be rereading again and again to keep this "new hotness" fresh in my mind.And for anyone who needs to hear this (we all do).YOU are enough. ♡

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
⭐ 4.7 💛 6488
kindle: $2.99
paperback: $0.76
hardcover: $12.61
Buy the Book