Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

by: Melody Beattie (0)

TheĀ #1Ā bestseller that has helped heal millions of readers,Ā thisĀ modern classicĀ holds the key to understanding codependency and unlocking its hold on your life.Ā 

Melody Beattieā€™s compassionate and insightful look into codependencyā€”the conceptĀ of losing oneself inĀ the nameĀ of helping anotherā€”Ā has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselvesĀ andĀ that caring for the self is where healing begins.Ā Ā 

Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending toĀ a loved oneā€™s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book.Ā With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests,Ā Codependent No MoreĀ helps you to break old patterns, maintain healthy boundaries, and say no to unhealthyĀ relationships. It offers a clear and achievable pathĀ to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.Ā 

This ground-breaking book isĀ even moreĀ relevant today, as readersĀ confrontĀ new,Ā urgentĀ challenges withĀ greaterĀ self-awareness, than it was when itĀ firstĀ entered the national conversationĀ over 35 years ago.Ā Ā 

The Reviews

I am a "I don't leave reviews" Amazon user.This book is outstanding. Even if you are not a child or relative or friend of someone with substance issues, even if you do not consider yourself co-dependant, this book is wonderful for building self esteem and setting boundries, or generalized anxiery. After reading and meditating on it, I found myself saying no to things without a moment of second thought. And guess what, it didn't kill anyone that I was saying no.

This book was a game-changer for me. I have struggled with codependency all of my life and never knew it. You do not have to be an alcoholic or be with an alcoholic to benefit from this. My type of codependency is being a caretaker and people-pleaser, always putting myself last to the point of jeopardizing my own heart, mind and soul. This brought so much to light and helped me open my eyes to things I was either unaware of, ignoring, or denying all together. Melody is an incredible writer and her passion for helping people out of the pit of this illness is genuine and transparent. She mixes truth, with real life experiences and allows herself to be vulnerable with us so we can see it is okay for us to be vulnerable with ourselves and others. I have her devotional as well, and it is a God-send to help me through each day.

Unfortunately, this is a great book for a lot of people, but it is more religious based than I'm comfortable with.

I am not normally a fan of "self help" titles. I tend to cringe at the very thought, and to be honest I was doing just that when this was recommended to me. However, I like to keep an open mind so I dove in.Codependent No More did not feel like a guide book or advice being thrown around. It read with an eerie sense of familiarity. As I poured through the case studies, I found myself thinking "that is me!" or "I know this person!". It was soon very obvious that I did not understand what being codependent meant. I had always viewed this as a negative label stuck on those whose loved one where addicts. But it is so much more. In fact this is a problem that effects many.I cannot recommend this title enough. If you are struggling, read it. If you know someone who struggles, read it. If you do not understand codependency, read it.There is something to be taken from Codependent No More for everyone. It is a refreshing perspective and read.

Yes, this book is absolutely helping me change my life. All these years of pain, trying to fix everything for everyone, whether they asked for it or not, anxiety, depression, craziness and then ultimately losing who I was completely and ignoring desperately needed self care. I now understand why I did the things I did. I saw myself in every page and every paragraph. This book is a huge step forward in self care! I feel understood, supported and encouraged. I'm learning and changing. It feels amazing. I give this book and "The Language of Letting Go" as gifts to my fellow codependent friends. I hope when they are ready that they read this. Because I KNOW it will help anyone who is codependent. I promise you that if you're codependent and ready to live better that this book will help you!

Look, just because someone talks about "god" doesn't mean that their points are invalid. Just read the "god" parts a metaphors and move on. I read this book 5 years ago and it has changed my life. I highly recommend it to those who struggle with taking on the problems of others as their own. It is really easy to apply the knowledge in here to a wide berth of issues. I really do not understand the reviews complaining about how it is only for alcoholism. It's not. I had no issues with alcohol or alcoholics and gained a tremendous amount of growth from this book.

I can sum up codependency in one sentence. Itā€™s a corrupted sense of piety. If our modern times studied to embody the basic virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance, few of these books about codependency would be written. We, myself included, have forgotten what our ancestors have already figured out.It became tiresome to read and it made me feel more anxious. On page 107, under #5 point, the author describes how she asked her husband to watch her out the window as she went to her car because it was nighttime and her car was located in a dark alley in a rough part of town. She then stated this was unnecessary as God is watching over her. First of all, there is nothing wrong with asking someone to make sure you donā€™t get assalted. If you want to preach that God has your back remember too that God helps those who help donā€™t be stupid and use common sense.The author seems to have written this in a state of hysteria. The extreme feminist ideology that is advocated in the book (since it seemed to be written more with women in mind) is completely unreasonable. In the Christian religion, there is little room for feminism. I worry about what she has to offer writing this book as she herself has not remarried...Iā€™m not going to throw out the baby with the bath water. I will continue to read this book and read between the lines.To give some perspective, I was raised in an atheist nilalistic alcoholic family. Nothing was sacred. God is not a person. God is the result from a series of actions that one takes to create a heaven, in a sense, on earth. Study ethics, virtues, and morality and it will take you to a better conclusion then this book ever will. The Bible was not created by a scorned and bitter person.

I canā€™t say enough great things about this book. Iā€™m not with an alcoholic, but I was very codependent. I honestly think everyone is in one way or another. This book is for everyone! She writes ā€œthrough my experience with codependency, I found my self.ā€ That is how I feel. I started this book with depression, panic attacks, and just feeling lost. This book, along with craving change for myself and putting forth effort, really impacted my life. I feel like I know myself more than ever.Read the book. Write in a journal. Answer the questions at the end of each chapter. You wonā€™t regret it.

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
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